A harbinger of disasters to come

Written by: Sunil Vasudeva
Published: Tuesday, December 2, 2003, 14:04 [IST]
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The Indian cricket team began its Aussie tour looking totally unprepared and nonplussed. The Australian first class teams gave the Indian bowlers a beating and the Indian batsmen a pasting. This is the major difference between first class cricket in the two countries. But there are other disturbing trends for Indian cricket. After whining non-stop about "too much cricket", what does one see looking at Ganguly and co.? The clear distinction between ''professional'' (Aussie) cricketers and "grossly unprepared"(Indian) cricketers. I wonder how many no balls Balaji bowled that sent the Aussie batsmen's stumps for a walk? How many of these can be counted as real scalps according to ICC rules?

We heard the blabbing over the beauty of a "NO BALL" Balaji bowled to send Tendulkar's stumps for a walk. If that didn't get Tendulkar out, there is no way in the world it will get any Aussie batsman out either, most of whom are heads above Tendulkar. For all we care, Balalji can bowl 10 perfect no balls to send the stumps for a walk, but what will the scorecard read. Wickets lost 0. Let me repeat 0.

This series will show how an Aussie batsman performs after a layoff versus the record the Indians have in the same bracket. When the Indian cricketer comes out of a hiatus, he forgets the basics! Now watch Steve Waugh maul the Indian bowlers and in the process break Allan Border's record of most runs and Sunil Gavaskar's record centuries made. Hasn't he (Steve) been inactive for a while?

That's the difference between a champion batsman and a choker. And folks, Steve is no choker. He will maul the Indian bowlers. The Indian team may even surpass the infants of Test cricket Bangladesh by getting no compliments from Steve. Remember, Steve was impressed with the courage of the Bangla cricketers.

Ashish Nehra will become 'Ashes' Nehra upon his mauling, Harbhajan Singh will become 'Justbeer' Singh totally stoned, Laxmipathy Balaji will be 'Bala'sted all over the field, Zaheer Khan will be 'Khan'tered all over the park, and of course Anil Kumble (the only one to admit his incompetence on foreign soil will be 'Annul'ed into the throes of ignominy all over again. Now, the batsmen, the lesser said the better. I am so glad there are other test series going on which are shaping to be real contests.

One final note, and I hope finally the delusional Indian fan club will come into the realm of reality. India does not have a fast bowler. Even the normally brash Shoaib Akhtar feels sorry for the Indians and wants to help them find a fast bowler. All the best Shoaib! Hopefully in a country of a billion plus people you may find what you're and for that matter Indian cricket is looking for: A genuine FAST BOWLER!

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