In his book ''Roy: Going for Broke,'' the excerpts of which were published in today's Daily Telegraph, Symonds said though he was trying hard not to let the emotional turmoil affect his on-field performances but the fear of losing his childhood sweetheart was enough for him to give up the game.
''I seriously thought about stepping down from it and cricket altogether. My reasoning was that if there was any chance of rebuilding my marriage then perhaps I was better off without cricket,'' Symonds writes in the book.
The swashbuckling all-rounder's marriage to childhood sweetheart Brooke Marshall collapsed last year and Symonds had to consult a psychologist Phil Jauncey to deal with the tough phase. Symonds said Jauncey helped him get over the turmoil.
''I spoke at length with Brooke and Phil Jauncey, and Phil said that while giving up cricket would have shown commitment, I needed to ask myself whether I was prepared to lose the two things I loved, because if things didn't work out with Brooke I would have nothing,'' he said.
''I decided if we were going to make the most of a second chance it would have to involve cricket because that was one of the few things I could rely upon to give us a future.'' Symonds recalled losing weight and having trouble ''coping with everyday things'' during the breakup and revealed that he lost interest in the game due to the personal woes.
''I didn't feel like playing cricket because I was in such an emotional mess but I would kit up and do my best. It turned out that these were the times when I just let my instincts take over and ended up playing really well.''
''I may have looked focused and in control out in the middle but on the inside I was confused, angry and ashamed, endlessly mulling over it and how I could save my marriage. I am sorry Brooke had to deal with what she did and if I had my time again I would do things differently, but I believe you learn a lot more from your mistakes than your successes and I have emerged a changed person,'' he said.