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Top 20 Ashes jokes

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Published: Monday, January 10, 2011, 11:01 [IST]
 
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Top 20 Ashes jokes

Melbourne, Jan.10: The Australian cricket teams endured a humiliating defeat against England in the Ashes series, and naturally have been subjected to both ridicule and jokes.

Here, according to leading newspaper, are twenty best jokes -

1) What do you call an Australian with 100 by his name? A bowler.

2) Why can't Aussies open bottles? Because they don't have any openers.

3) What do you call an Australian with a bottle of champagne in his hand? A waiter.

4) What do you call a world class Australian? Retired.

5) What"s the difference between Ricky Ponting and a funeral director? A funeral director doesn"t keep losing the ashes.

6)Why is it unfair to call Australia the second best team over there? Because the English women's cricket team are in Australia as well.

7) What"s the height of optimism? An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.

8) What is the main function of the Australia coach? To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

9) What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common? Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

10) What"s the difference between Ricky Ponting and a phoenix? At the end of the ashes, the phoenix still has a future.

11) The ICC is investigating strange betting pattersn in the Sydney Test. Someone allegedly put $20 on Australia.

12) Why do Aussie fielders need pre-tour travel instructions? Because they never catch anything.

13) What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet? The entire Aussie innings.

14)What could Chris Tremlett be if he was an Australian? An allrounder.

15) What's the Aussie version of a hat-trick? Three runs in three balls.

16) What is the most proficient form a footwork displayed by an Aussie batsman? The walk back to the pavilion.

17) What is the Australian version of LBW? Lost, beaten, walloped.

18) Why did the Englsh team drink whiskey, rum and gin after the Ashes? Because Beer couldn't knock them out.

19) What were the Aussies best chance of a win at Melbourne? Telling England the match was at Sydney!

20) Why are the Aussies demanding increased match payments? Someone has let on that the matches go to a fourth day.

thatsCricket


ANI

Read more about: ashes 2011, england, australia, jokes
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